Valentine’s Day Expectations Pt 2

Valentine’s Day – you either love it or hate it.

A couple weeks ago, we gave the single ladies some ideas on how to make the most of V-day. Today, we set some realistic expectations for those who are in relationships, from the brand-new puppy love stage, to marriage.

Image courtesy of Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1. Appreciate the Effort.
If this is your first Valentine’s Day as a couple, chances are your guy is pretty nervous about what to get you. Card? Flowers? Chocolates?

Maybe he’ll get you a necklace from the Piercing Pagoda in the mall.

Maybe he’ll write you a song and serenade you under your window while your parents sleep soundly through his performance.

Maybe he’ll make a slide show of your first year of dating, set it to music, and project it onto the side of the dorm building at your college.

Oh wait . . . that’s what my honey did!

No matter what your guy gives you as a present, providing he gives you one, don’t be disappointed that it’s not all you dreamed of. In order to not be disappointed, don’t drop hints about expensive dinners or fancy jewelry. Those things are wonderful, and in every instance but this, I’d be the first to tell you to expect great things. However, when it comes to guys and Valentine’s Day, it’s likely that you’re thinking bigger than he is.

Expectation is the root of all heartache.

~William Shakespeare

Some of my girlfriends have received a pretty blue box from Tiffany’s on V-day, and you know what? GREAT for them! I’m excited for them! However, this is not reality for most guy’s wallets, and I know I’ve been disappointed in V-day gifts in the past, and I don’t want you to be.

To keep from being disappointed . . .

2. Talk about Valentine’s Plans BEFORE February 13th.
It’s okay to discuss what you’re expecting. It’s okay to help plan the event. Let’s face it, if you’ve been in a relationship with your fella for more than a couple years, he probably doesn’t want the pressure that this holiday brings. He probably doesn’t know what else to do.

So talk about it.

Your man is not a mind reader. If February 14th comes and goes, and you’re going to be disappointed if he does everything except get you a card, then make sure your man knows that a card is at the top of the list. If you’re desperately needing flowers sent to your office to make the other girls jealous, you better make sure he knows that.

Personally, I feel like Valentine’s Day is the guy’s responsibility, at least at our house. V-day could come and go, and Justin wouldn’t blink twice. But it means something to me, so naturally, the burden is on Justin. Is this fair? Not really. But since I’ve birthed him three babies, I don’t really care how fair it is. 🙂

Just kidding.

Not really.

Our First Date: Feb 14, 2002

3. Make Valentine’s Day relevant to your lives.
What is special about the two of you? What kind of things do you like to do together? We can break out of the dinner and roses cliché this holiday brings. You can only have so many stuffed teddy bears holding heart shaped pillows, and only so much chocolate can be eaten a day, then regretted for a month.

If you’re married with kids, sometimes there isn’t a lot of extra money to spend on a nice dinner, flowers, plus a babysitter. Why not get restaurant food to-go after the kids are tucked in bed and light a couple of candles in your living room? Rent a DVD and have a special night, with “dessert” in your bedroom. *wink*

I’m all for guys treating their ladies like queens, but I’m not for guys blowing all their money on one holiday. Justin and I had our first date on Valentine’s Day (kinda by accident with the date). We went to Dairy Queen with my brother and a mutual friend. Story here.

There should be some effort, and if you’re dating a guy who is a hopeless romantic, you’re sure to have a special night. For the rest of us, share some ideas of things that would be fun to do, and then give him free reign. It takes the pressure off your guy.

Survival Tips

On a tight budget? Go out after Feb 14th. Not only will everything be on sale, but you can get each other more pink and red ~~junk~~ treasures at 50% off!
Plan a picnic. If you’re outdoorsy, find a great spot and pack the dinner, and let your guy be in charge of dessert. If you hate nature, have a picnic inside. A/C, and DVR. My favorite letters of the alphabet.
Write each other love notes.
Instead of a bouquet of roses, why not buy a plant for your home? it lasts longer, which means more enjoyment. And if you break up, you can let it slowly die as a physical reminder of your internal pain. Gee – that was a bit morbid.
My friend and her husband are taking a “kissing” picture every day of February leading up to V-day. Cute idea.
Do NOT expect an engagement ring. If it happens, fantastic. If not, just know that the day your fella pops the question will be one you will remember for the rest of your life. Getting your hopes up that it will happen on V-day can be a recipe for hurt feelings and major disappointment.
Have Valentine’s Day breakfast or brunch instead of dinner. Cheaper and different. Could become a fun tradition.

No matter what happens on Valentine’s, I hope it’s super special, and a day you’ll always remember. Whether you’re hanging with girlfriends (no pity parties!), or enjoying time with your honey, I wish you much love and many blessings.

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