If you’re a veteran of Florida Christian College youth events or a past attendee of FCC or Johnson University Florida, chances are you’ve had the pleasure of meeting Bob Mehlenbacher. He is the father of three, has been married 19 years, and has been in Youth Ministry for 26. He loves working with middle school kids. He left this comment on my post “If you Want to Date My Son” and I loved every bit of it. Please enjoy this guest post from Bob Mehlenbacher.
I appreciate what you have written. I have been thinking of this as well. I have stressed so much rules for dating my daughter and realized what about my son. So here have been my thoughts if any help you in what you are doing from the perspective of a father:
My son is not a toy.
We have worked really hard to build his confidence, and mold him into the young man God wants him to be towards women. If you want to play games then buy a toy leave his heart alone. We will not allow you to undo what God is doing in his life.
He is not an ATM.
We are teaching him to be fiscally responsible now so that he will not live in our garage later on. Don’t expect him to be your never ending wish list.
You are not his mother.
Be his friend get to know him, we do not need your help raising him.
Like him / love him (much later) for he is.
It is not your job to change him. As he grows and matures he will change as he wants to change. We have seen him change and have helped him to navigate those things in his life.
I pay for his cell phone.
This means I will read any text and look at any picture whenever I want. End of discussion.
My son was raised to love his mom and treat her right.
Do not make fun of him or ridicule him for being a momma’s boy, he is and that is ok. Think of it this way. If he treats his mom (and sisters) with respect how do you think he will treat you. Don’t make him choose, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU LOSE!!!!!
When he gets married, his wife becomes his priority.
Until that day, his priority is family. This will prepare him to understand his role when he has his own. For now we are his family, he plays a very important role in the lives of his mother and sisters.
We have been praying for a godly woman to be his wife, even before he was born.
We continue to pray and put this in God’s hands.
My son and daughters were raised that God says the man is the head of the household.
The man is to lead BUT, he is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, which means he better be willing to give his life for her. What this means is if you are the woman he chooses to ask to be his wife, he will be willing to DIE for you. If you are not willing to let him lead, then you are not who we have been praying for.