Handshake Kisses

My husband is a middle school boy.

At heart, I mean.

Do men ever really outgrow their youthful boyishness? I think it’s similar to how if I was left alone in a meadow of tall wildflowers, wearing a flow-y dress, my skin warm from the sunshine, I couldn’t help but spin in circles, my arms outstretched.

At heart, I hope I hold on to that little girl inclination to twirl.

Back to the man.

My wonderful honey thinks it’s hilarious to run through a list of handshakes that would make someone feel awkward. Thankfully, this is only done in jest, and never for real. Unless it’s his buddies, and then it really is funny.

gimme a kiss

The handshakes go something like this:

  1. the dead fish = let your hand go slack as soon as theirs touches yours
  2. the board = as soon as the other person grabs your hand, make your wrist and fingers tight and straight
  3. the weakling = stretch out your hand as if going in for a firm grip, and at the last minute grab their hand with your fingertips, all dainty-girl like.

So last night my sweet, darling husband decided to pull his “handshakes” with his lips when I leaned over to give him a kiss goodnight. Sometimes a man annoys you as his way of flirting–it never gets old to them!

But I’m glad after nine years of marriage, my man still flirts with me.

If you want to pull these little maneuvers yourself, here they are:

  1. the dead fish = let your lips go slack as soon as theirs touches yours
  2. the board = purse your lips together and keep them real tight
  3. the weakling = kiss for a second (like normal), then gradually stop kissing back

Is it sure to annoy him? Yes, but isn’t that the fun of handshake kisses?



**Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Bethany Jett

Bethany Jett loves sipping coffee and jamming in her planner while raising three boys with her college sweetheart Justin.

May 28, 2013

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1 Comment

  1. Winter Peck

    Oh my, 15 years and my hubby does this, and he adds one more to your list, last minute stick his tongue out and lick her. snicker.