Valentine’s Day Expectations, Part 1

Valentine’s Day – you either love it or hate it.

Most people aren’t indifferent, but with stores bursting with chocolate hearts, boxes of truffles, cutesy teddy bears with huge ribbon necklaces, and naked cupids everywhere, it can make anyone gag.

What’s interesting about V-day are the expectations, and it doesn’t matter if you’re dating anyone or not. They’re there, along with dreams and fanciful wishes of secret admirers and hopes your crush is waiting for this momentous day to ask you to be his girlfriend.

Image courtesy of Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We fall into a few categories, us wonderful women.
A. Single. 
         Love it or hate it, we aren’t in a relationship.
B. In a relationship.
        Covers dating to marriage.

We can navigate the lovey-dovey waters together. Whether you’re fed up with Valentine’s Day, or dropping hints to your sweetie, let’s create some expectations so that no matter what does or doesn’t happen, we’re not disappointed.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies…
Girlfriend, I know that seeing all your friends receive overpriced candy and gifts can make a girl feel left out. Ugly. Undesirable. But that’s not who you are! No negative self-talk! Here’s what we’re gonna do:

1. Don’t talk bad about relationships, guys, or the girls flaunting their presents.
I know Valentine’s Day can make you feel like a loser. You’re not. I know you want to shove the Russell Stover’s down those girls’ throats. Please don’t. I know you want to go home after the flood of flowers and candy has hit your school, office, job, wherever, and scarf down a pizza and then curl up with a bowl (or tub) of [insert favorite flavor] of ice cream to wash it down. If that’s the plan, give me a call. Pizza is my fave.

The worst thing a single girl can do is draw attention to her self-induced “woe-is-me” attitude. Any single guy witnessing a pity-party like that is not likely to be lining up to ask you out. Even though it might make you feel better, it eventually does more harm than good.

2. Don’t get caught up in a Valentine’s dating offer fantasy. 
If there’s a guy you’re crushing on, don’t get too daydreamy that he’s gonna surprise you on Valentine’s Day with a bouquet of roses asking you to be his. Most guys would rather wait until after Valentine’s Day to start a relationship. Takes the pressure off.

If it happens that the man of your dreams asks you out on Valentine’s Day, honey, you’ve caught yourself a winner. Justin asked me out for dinner on Valentine’s Day, but sadly, our romantic evening turned into Dairy Queen with my brother and best friend. That story here.

What I’m saying is, if you put your hopes on that happening, you’re likely to bruise your heart when it doesn’t need to be. Don’t drop hints, don’t tell your crush your secret desire (or have your friend do your dirty work for you). Just be awesome and if it happens, enjoy the surprise.

3. Grab your single friends and make a night of it.

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Whether you decide to all dress up and go somewhere fancy for dinner, take in a movie, or have a sleepover, have fun with your single girlfriends. Play M*A*S*H (there’s an app now!), watch sappy love movies, or sing karaoke. Just please promise pizza will be involved somehow.

This is a healthy way to survive Valentine’s  Day. You love your friends, so get in the festive spirit and share that love with each other. You can do a “Secret Cupid,” where you draw names and get a special Valentine’s Day treat for each other. If your school does a candy-gram or carnation-gram, pay the $3 and send one to your friend as a surprise. Be careful of sending yourself one. . . sometimes that backfires into making you look desperate, which you’re not.

4. Make a list of how awesome you are.
I know this might sound conceited, but I know that V-day sort of makes you question yourself. So make a list of all the awesome talents, quirks, and character traits that make you incredible. It might make you feel better, which might save you from a calorie-induced coma later. You’re welcome.

Regardless of why you’re single, just know that your hottie hunk of a man is out there, hopefully not spending a ton of money on a girl who is going to become a stripper when he leaves for military bootcamp. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the girls in relationships where the guy is a total jerk. She might get flowers today, but it sure doesn’t make up for the issues she’s become complacent with. It’s not worth being in a relationship with the wrong guy. 


5. Remember you’re worth waiting for.
February 14th will come and go, and your relationship status does not define who you are. A girl in a relationship is not better than you, smarter than you, more awesome than you. Gifts and flowers can hide a multitude of problems in a relationship. The more showy the gift, the more it appears that a girl is desirable. Honey, it’s just a mirage.


Stay tuned for Valentine’s Day Expectations, Part 2!

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**Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Bethany Jett

Bethany Jett loves sipping coffee and jamming in her planner while raising three boys with her college sweetheart Justin.

January 29, 2013

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