Dating Rule #3

Phew. Glad the last post is over. Although, some of you posted some more “inappropriate” pictures today. Nothing I can do about that but thank you to my sweet girls who decided to remove some off the internet.

I’m so proud of you.

Dating Rule #3.  Let the words from your lips be sweet.

There is nothing more unattractive than a pretty girl cussing up a storm. However, you don’t have to use swear words to say things that are unpleasant to hear. Most of us are familiar with the “four-letter-word” no-no’s, but let’s discuss some of the words that don’t quite fall into the cussing category.

omg – I HATE this one. HATE it. 
I can’t even write this one . . . it hurts . . . ugh . . .  f.a.r.t.  ICKY!! I hate this word!!!!

It’s also unattractive to talk about any bodily functions — burping, periods, tampons, poop. All of it. Stop it. There are appropriate times and places to have discussions but in group settings, especially with boys around, it is not the time, nor the place.

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Having a “pretty mouth” also includes not talking about each other and calling each other names. Just because you would say it to the person’s face does NOT mean you can say it behind their back. No guy wants to date a girl who trashes other people.

This also includes not being loud and this is really what I want to focus on for this rule. When you like a guy, the absolute worst thing you can do is be loud to get him to notice you. It will work . . . he will notice you, but it won’t be in the way you want him to. In the same way that a five-year-old acts obnoxious to get attention, your silliness will make your crush afraid to be seen with you in public.

I’m not saying if you have an outgoing personality that you need to hide it or squash it. The world needs outgoing energetic people. However, there is a time and a place and you need to learn to harness your energy. There are times to be quiet. The Bible says your beauty should be “the unfading beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

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I remember before Justin and I were officially dating, I was on campus with my friend and he was handing out brownies his mom had sent him in a care package. I remember how generous he was and how he was bragging about his mother’s baking. A guy will treat you very similarly to how he treats his mother. Remember that.

So, I was impressed. I went with my friend to the top of the stairs and we sat outside one of her friend’s room, hanging out with a couple of other girls. Justin came to the top where we were and one girl, who I think also liked him, got really loud and started being very “show-off-y.” I, however, chose to be quiet. The word I like to use is mysterious, but that’s for the next post.

One of my reasonings for remaining quiet while this girl did not was because of one of my favorite verses and it would do everyone a world of good to memorize it and apply it. “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise” (Proverbs 17:28) and a quote that I love falls right along with it — “It is better to keep silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

Who do you think Justin paid more attention to?

The better question is, who ended up with the ring?  *wink*

Much of this has to do with mystery and I think this is a lost art for us females, and it is my next rule. So, before I dive into that, let me finish with this: you need to be careful about what you say. Cussing is an absolute no-go. Let’s just put that out there. You aren’t being cute and it’s really disgusting. Beyond that are the crude words or topics and you may have a longer list than what I posted.

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Guys do want to marry someone (i.e., date someone) who they will feel comfortable taking home to their mother. Someone they are sure won’t embarrass them. They want a woman, not someone who is trying to be “one-of-the-guys.”

I think this is an easy rule to follow. The Bible has so much to say about this topic, especially in Proverbs. Here are some good ones:

“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives”  Proverbs 13:3a

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healthy to the body” Proverbs 16:23-24

He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding keeps silent” Proverbs 11:12

. . . and there are so many more . . . like “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” Luke 6:45 and Matthew 5:37 “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’; anything beyond this comes from the Evil One.”

So girls, my lovelies. Let your words be gracious. Let them be sweet. Let them be kind. The man you are looking for will be looking for those attributes and I promise that getting a handle on your tongue now will cause you much less stress later in life.

The pain of biting your tongue is better than the bitterness of swallowing ugly words you can’t take back.



**Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Bethany Jett

Bethany Jett loves sipping coffee and jamming in her planner while raising three boys with her college sweetheart Justin.

November 22, 2011

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