Sex Promises

I’m watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU and the underlying premise of this episode is ridiculing the idea of teenagers waiting until they are married to have sex.

They refer to an abstinence decision as “The Golden Promise.” A more well-known campaign is True Love Waits. The idea that teens make this promise is scoffed at and it is suggested that the more abstinence education is promoted, the more teen sex is on the rise.

I’ve seen and heard the stats: “Oh, abstinence education doesn’t work. Teen sex has increased umpteen percent in the areas where abstinence education is taught.” Because teen sex has nothing to do with the safe sex campaign, free condoms, the “morning after” pill and easier access to abortions.

It’s not the whole truth.

“‘Pro-Abstinence Efforts’ Credited in Illinois Teen Birth Rate Decline – The IL Dept of Public Health announced that teen births have dropped to the lowest level in 40 years, after a steady 5 year decline” according to

Photo Credit

Having sex, hooking up, friends with benefits, and one-night stands are all part of the “it’s just sex” lie that teens (and adults) believe.

It’s not just sex.

And you can wait until you’re married to experience it. Sex is exhilarating, provocative, *wink* ever-maturing and God created and designed it for marriage.

Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:15-19)

I’m writing a six-article-series for a magazine on Boundaries. Even if you’ve gone too far with a boyfriend, or participated in inappropriate touching or behaviors, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t a virgin and it doesn’t mean that you should go ahead and have sex because you’ve done everything else.

A purity ring is a physical reminder of your promise to God and your future husband that you are going to wait to have sex on your wedding night. Even if you’ve already had sex, you can choose to stop. To wait.

I encourage you to find a ring you love, and wear it as your purity ring.

my purity ring

I wasn’t perfect in my dating relationships, but sex was never on the table. I’m thankful for the tangible reminder on my finger that physically echoed the promise in my heart.

One of Justin’s most treasured possessions is my purity ring. My parents gave it to me for my thirteenth birthday.

I gave it to Justin on our wedding day and he replaced it with a new one.

So, as a girl who waited to have sex, who made what the show called “The Golden Promise,” I know it can be done.  As a girl who has friends who waited, I know it can be done.

And as a girl whose husband loves that she saved her innocence and herself for him alone, I know it was worth it.



**Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Bethany Jett

Bethany Jett loves sipping coffee and jamming in her planner while raising three boys with her college sweetheart Justin.

June 7, 2012

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