Red Flags

If your best friends think you shouldn’t be dating him, there’s a 90% chance they are right.

Did you just roll your eyes? Probably because you have heard from your very bestest friends that they don’t approve of or like the things your boyfriend has done.

Your friends have a third-party view of your relationship, so while they don’t know your boyfriend like you do, they are able to see how you have changed as a result of being together with him.

And sometimes your friends don’t always like the “new” you.

Photo Credit

What is a red flag, then? What do those little “warning bells” sound like?

Girlfriend, you know them when you hear them.

Is it a little nagging voice inside your head? Is it an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach?

Are you constantly defending your relationship? Do you find yourself pulling away from your friends because they don’t understand you anymore?

Here’s the question in the back of my head: has your boyfriend done things you wouldn’t want me to know about?

For some of you, that answer is yes, and you’re already defending him in your mind.

Let’s just say this, you’re setting boundaries in your dating relationship. What is permissible now is permissible in the future.

Please do not mislead yourselves into thinking that once you marry a guy, he changes his ways. It doesn’t happen. If he’s messing around with porn now, he’ll be doing it then. If he’s flirting with other girls now, he’ll probably start doing it again after the “honeymoon phase” ends. If he pushes you or thumps you now, it’ll be worse later.

Girls, when Justin and I started dating, we set boundaries up front. We had rules and some of them I’ve shared. Here is one of mine.

I told him from the very beginning that there were two reasons I would break up with him on the spot, no second chances.  “Cheat on me or hit me . . . either one, and it’s over for good.”

Guess who never did either. 

I understand the hard part with what I’m saying is deciding when to give a second chance and when to say, “we’re done.”

Set the boundary and girls, if he tests you, follow through. You’re worth more than some guy wasting your time because he can’t act right. You’re worth being single when the right guy comes along. You’re worth the best.

Love you all.



**Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Bethany Jett

Bethany Jett loves sipping coffee and jamming in her planner while raising three boys with her college sweetheart Justin.

January 27, 2012

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