Don’t Text, Friend, Follow, Snapchat or Call First!

One of my bestest girlfriends called me up the other day with a question for her teenaged nephew.

“If he likes a girl, shouldn’t the guy be the one to friend her on Facebook, or should he wait for her to do it?”

My answer: “Stop being lazy boys!!! Yes – the guy should friend her if he likes her. Stop waiting around for the girl to get up the courage to do it! Friend her, already! If she likes you back, you’re gonna make her day!”

screen shot of phone PM

The problem is that we’re conditioning our girls to be the initiator and pursuer in the relationships, which doesn’t make any sense. You already know this – boys and girls are wired differently, and hormonal boys will date almost anyone who asks them. Now, now, I said “almost.”

I’m all for girls being independent and chasing their dreams, but when it comes to relationships, take your foot off the gas and cruise in neutral for a while. Let the guy build up the courage to chase you. Let him sweat it out. Instead of focusing on making sure your crush knows you exist, back off. If he likes you, he’s fully aware of your presence every time you’re within 500 yards of each other.

Guys are like sharks that way–where a shark can smell a drop of blood miles away, a little feminine hormone can be detected in a crowd of hundreds. And most girls know that if a guy likes you, he’ll let you know…eventually. There’s always the one guy you don’t want to date that always seems to be by your side. Good for him for working up the courage, so be nice, but make sure not to lead him on.

So here’s my question:

How many boys have you texted in the last 24 hours? Did they text you first?

Do you stalk your crush on Facebook? Do you follow him on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr? Do you send him cutesy Snapchat images?

Always remember, a man will do what a man wants to do — so stop making it so easy for them. Make him work hard to get you. With all the social media at our fingertips, it doesn’t take a genius to get ahold of someone, just some old-fashioned courage. 🙂

Question: Do you think guys calling girls first is too old-fashioned, or do you think it’s a rule to live by? Can’t wait to hear your thoughts! Comment above!

Just for fun: Here’s my l’amour Pinterest board

A giant congratulations to Maureen Tenney for winning the locket and free signed copy of The Cinderella Rule giveaway! locket with words PMAnd thank you to everyone who participated!!! If you’d like your own Cinderella Rule locket, I am able to offer a discount:

One FREE charm with your order when you mention “The Cinderella Rule” or when you place your order under “The Cinderella Rule” at the Jewelry Bar drop down at checkout.

To get your free charm, order online here or call Anitra at 954.675.0768.



**Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Bethany Jett

Bethany Jett loves sipping coffee and jamming in her planner while raising three boys with her college sweetheart Justin.

August 6, 2013

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  1. Jenny Snow

    Bethany, I completely agree! My husband pursued me big time until he won me over. It’s so fun telling our kids how he asked me to dance, worked up the nerve to ask for my number, and kept pursuing me. Wouldn’t be so fun to share our story if it was the other way around.

    Don’t be the step-sisters bowing, fawning, and fighting each other for a smile from the prince. Be the Cinderella who just wants to come to the dance and have fun. Let the prince chase you!

    Love your stuff, Bethany!

    • Bethany Jett

      This was such a fun comment to get!!! I love hearing how other husbands wooed their wives!!! 🙂 No fawning step-sisters!!!!!