Dating Rule #4 . . . EAT!

Dating Rule #4 . . . Eat girl!
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Your first date with a guy is probably going to include a meal. Normally, guys are so nervous about asking you out that they will do one of two things: try to do something super incredible to make it memorable or go with the old stand-by . . . dinner and a movie.

Either way is fine!

I bet your first date with the love your life doesn’t include him almost standing you up, your friend-who-set-you-up-that-you-secretly-think-he-likes, your little brother and a Dairy Queen.

If 10 people comment on this post, I’ll tell you that story.

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So, back to eating.

Who doesn’t love food?? I’m sure your guy does, and he will be watching you. Guys like a girl who can eat! It’s true! Don’t be ashamed of your love of la cuisine!!!

Most guys want to be able to eat with their girlfriend . . . so don’t be thinking “Oh, he’s going to think I’m disgusting if I order that burger, fries, and milkshake.”

I know that there are a lot of things that run through your mind when you’re going on a dinner date, so let’s address some of them.

Do you only order a salad? Can you order the most expensive thing on the menu? Do you wait and see what he orders before you order? Do you insist on paying your meal? Do you offer to pay for his?

Phew. Here goes.

1. Order a salad if you truly want a salad, but girls, don’t order the SIDE SALAD. Get a meal-sized salad. It’s only a few dollars extra and even if you don’t eat it all (some salads are huge) at least you aren’t making him feel uncomfortable when he orders a massive burger or steak.

You never know, though, he may order the salad and you might order the steak.

2. Don’t, and I repeat, DON’T order the most expensive thing on the menu. It doesn’t matter if he’s super rich. He may order the most expensive thing on the menu (not likely) but it’s not good manners if he is paying. If you think you’re paying, well, I’m getting to that . . .

3. If you’re not sure what to get, you can wait and see what he orders, but this could backfire on you if you are on a date with a gentleman. Most mannered guys will let the lady order first, as they should. If he decides to order for you, well, my darling, unless you gave him permission to do so by telling him what you wanted, that is a red flag in my book. Controlling, much?

Ask your date what looks good to him (besides you) and that should give you a ballpark about where he’s thinking money-wise on a meal. Figuring out what to eat shouldn’t be stressful, but a lot of times it is, so we’re gonna have a game plan so when you’re on your date, you can relax.

PROOF that you can be adored by thousands of men,
even when your thighs touch.
 (Photo credit)

4. Do NOT insist on paying for your meal. The only exception to this is if the guy is a SUPER jerk and you literally cannot let him pay for your meal because you don’t want to have any “ties” to him ever again, including feeling like you owe him something.

Justin and I are raising our boys to be chivalrous, gentlemanly, and well-mannered and that includes a lot of old-fashioned traditions. I’ll expect them to pay when they take a girl on a date and I am hoping (and praying) that they choose girls who have been brought up with a similar background.

Am I anti-feminist? Sort of. I think women take on too many roles that men were created to do. This has nothing to do with “girls not being as good as boys” or anything like that, but I want my sons to date girls who will allow them to act like men.

I know this is not a popular thought, but so be it. I think it’s Biblical. (See Ephesians 5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1-7; Titus 2:5; 1 Timothy 3:4,12; Genesis 1-3.)

Ladies, if a guy is offering to pay for your dinner, let him. His mama has trained him right and don’t mess that up by trying to be independent. Accept it graciously and treasure the fact that the man has spent money on you. You’re worth it. . . and you don’t owe him anything in return except a smile and a thank-you.

5. If you understand #4, you already know you’re not buying his meal. After you’ve been exclusively dating for a while, of course you can buy your own food. It’s not his responsibility to feed you! However, if he’s taking you out, let him!

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Other tips?

**Make sure you bring enough cash to cover your meal. Assume he’s paying for it but I think that you should always be prepared with a way out of a situation. If for some reason you need to leave that dinner date fast, you give your money to the waitress and get out!
**Drive yourself and meet at the location if you don’t know him very well. This is also something we are going to cover in a different rule.
**I don’t recommend ordering anything with red sauce on the first date . . . too much room for humiliation.
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I went on a “first-and-only date” with a guy that my DAD set me up with . . . I was literally obligated to go. He ordered SPAGHETTI.  I was embarrassed before he took his first bite. I was so afraid he was going to spill, or slurp, or something.

**Bring a small mirror that you can keep in your purse. The last thing you want is food stuck in your teeth, sauce on your face, or a bat in the cave.  (that means something in your nose) . . . We call it “SN” and by “we,” I mean me and my sister. SN = Snot Nose.  (think I’m crazy yet? It gets better.)   “SN-squared” means there is something in your teeth. 

But seriously girls, most importantly . . . have fun! Enjoy your meal and enjoy the company of the cutie on the other side of the table. You never know if he’s the guy you’re going to be eating the majority of your meals with for the rest of your life.

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**Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Bethany Jett

Bethany Jett loves sipping coffee and jamming in her planner while raising three boys with her college sweetheart Justin.

December 1, 2011

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  1. Johnnie

    Great tips and I love the photos.

  2. Johnnie

    Love you, Bethany!

  3. Jill

    LOVE THIS! and Jacob and I never had these issues. I knew the moment he ordered buffalo wings on our first date that we were meant for each other! haha. 🙂 LOVED the rule about having your own money with you, just in case. SUCH A GOOD THING TO DO!

  4. Windy

    That first date story needs to be shared. HAHA.

  5. angelbumpkin

    Really love your advice, Bethany.

  6. Siobhan

    This is so brilliant! I never understood why girls didn't eat in front of guys. Also, having your own money is a fantastic idea. And thanks for reminding us to be ladies and to let the guy be a gentleman.

  7. Dani Stormy

    Dani said…I ordered salad on the first seven dates of my life… Wish I knew these rules before!