I’m so sad.
I picked up a book that I was super excited to read and felt like my heart got slammed.
Here’s how it went down:
“There are only so many hours in the day, and no one can do it all.” — Amen, sister.
“No mom’s kids smile all day while she turns out perfectly shaped pies and ingenious craft projects.” — Not my kids, that’s for sure. And I’m not allowed to bake anymore, according to my littles.
“Plus, who wants to try to live up to that? Not me.” — Me either. Let me be me and all that.
…and then I got to this line:
“I don’t have the freaking time to fill out a perfect planner while I meal plan on the cutest DIY family whiteboard that coordinates with the wall color and to beam over the state of my perfectly organized gift closet.”
…ummmm. But I *want* to do those things.
I love filling in my planner. I want to meal plan and use a cute family whiteboard. Ours is not cute, btw.
I completely understand where the author is coming from. The world of Pinterest-perfection and Instagram-worthiness can leave us feeling like we aren’t enough.
However, the underlying theme is that there is a lot of pretending happening online. We pretend things are great when we show the pretty stuff while just to the side of the photo is a mountain of laundry, dishes that are growing algae, and kids that need to be bathed.
But we have to give some grace here. Being busy and real and transparent doesn’t mean I can’t have a pretty family command center.
But on the flip side, what’s wrong with wanting to have an organized pantry? A pretty planner? A laundry room that is efficient, bright, and cheery?
Just yesterday, my husband and I walked into an oral surgeon’s office to get a second opinion for my son and our first comment was, “Wow.” It was the same comment that the next three people who entered the office said, as well.
The crystal teardrop chandeliers sent prisms of color across the room every time the door opened. There were two
The reception area was bright white with thoughtful decor and little clutter.
I liked being in that waiting area. I felt valued and a little special. Their decor and standard of hospitality in the waiting area made me anticipate a positive experience for the entire visit.
And they delivered on that, as well.
Our time is our most valuable commodity.
Honestly, it was the planner part of the book that kinda got to me. I had a couple of people rain on my parade when it came to my hobby – a mix of scrapbooking, journaling, and planning all in one.
I felt talked down to and like I was being told I wasted my time, which made me upset.
Here’s my reality…I’ve traveled and spoken over thirteen times these past nine months, a record for me, and still have two events left for the year. On top of that, I own two companies that are moving at the speed of lightning, homeschooled my kids for the first six months of the year, endured my husband’s 500 military deployments and missions, wrote two books and ghostwrote a third.
Did I mention I’m also finishing my Masters Degree?
Admittedly, I’m a little sensitive when someone questions me about my time.
Like, “Ain’t nobody got time for putting stickers in a planner,” or “There are better adventures to be had than decorating a calendar.”
Actual footage when I read that:
So, what’s the point?
First, I think what we’re all up in arms about is a lack of transparency. For those who have won in the organized home department, for the love of all things, show some of the messy. Let us know that we can also achieve the comfort and peace that comes from an organized home but balance it with some real life.
Second, let’s have some grace for how people choose to spend their time.
There’s something to be said for quiet adventures.
Planning for me has become a functional creative outlet. Not only do I get to
procrastinate play on the blank pages with stickers, washi tape, and pretty pens, but I get to plan my days, weeks, and months the way I want.
I remember things better…and there is a lot to remember.
In the book The Road Back to You by Cron & Stabile, they share about the Enneagram and how to know if you are a healthy or non-healthy version of yourself. I’m a 3, wing 4, and as my sister read this part to me, I finally understood this need to have a quiet, creative outlet.
“They [Enneagramp. 130, The Road Back to You
type3’s] try to balance their abundant energy between work, rest and some kind of contemplative practice, recognizing the importance of being instead of doing.”
It’s become a mentally healthy quiet time for me. It’s part of my self-care routine now, and I’m a better mom, wife, business partner, and friend because of it.
An organized home is a peaceful home, and while I like my house to be a bit lived-in, I hate the clutter and inefficiency from the wet dishcloths that are tossed by my fridge (yes, right now, that’s a fact), a laundry room that needs to be cleaned out, and a pantry that needs to be reorganized.
I like how I feel when I go into a hotel room (and there have been many this year) and there are clean lines, fresh sheets and towels, and no clutter.
I like to see how others have gone before me and made their spaces work. It inspires me to make my own space work…and often with cheaper suggestions which makes my husband super happy!
I like that we can encourage each other because other people’s clean spaces motivated me to transform my crazy office into a beautiful workspace.
And truth-be-told, I’m excited to continue reading this book. I understand where the author is coming from but I wanted to champion those of us who find fulfillment and joy in some of those projects.
As a #MomBoss myself, I say to all other mom-boss-babes, you do you, girlfriend. I’ll be playing in my sticker books if you need me. ?